giuseppe andrews

Insert body text here...

all songs written and produced by giuseppe andrews 2005-2009 - performed by giuseppe and ed. additional vocals on Eek, Erk's perturbed by ed and mary. additional vocals on largo massina by ed. vocal on spaghetti western and meatballs by mary.

EEK ERK'S PERTURBED: Eek, Erk’s perturbed. He’ perturbed out on the curb. Eeek, Erk’s perturbed cause he wants to know the words and his fever’s getting worse. If a flumsis is one who will bump into doors. And will spill what they got in their hands evermore. Than we’ll keep all the things that we bought in a safe. In the bank by the sea. In that rich puppy’s safe. Eeek, Erk’s perturbed. He’ perturbed out on the curb. I say Eeek when i'm erked but only when I’m perturbed and my vacuum doesn’t work. And I want to know the words. What. Do you have any fish sticks? Eew, your d**k looks like a fish stick. The special today is fish sticks. Oh, I love fish fish sticks. Let’s make fish sticks. Okay. I love fish sticks. I got a cup of mac and cheese. (that’s just great) and a child drunk in jail. And a message on my shirt. And a car I want to sell. I’ve had it with this porch. And these books about the courts. I will go to war with me. I will pay the tip in cash. You will film my dance with death,once I pesticide your plants. While the real world licks it’s ass. And the alien arrives. (let’s play tennis). With a heart that’s made of mind. And I wish that I had slept. Cause they all have got a cold. So I get another mask from a Halloween garage. You were right here on the dot. But your period was late. It was making peace with god. Why is everyone always on phones?

BABY PUNKS: Rappers use sperm samples now, when one punk f**ks another, without rubbers, you get baby punks, baby punks. Yeah, you get them baby punks. Rappers use sperm samples now. Thrown from a circus ride, raided like a tomb of gold, miso soup getting nice and cold, crosswalk fantasy, film for the family, patty melt peach tree heart, a-la-carte. When one punk f**ks another without rubbers, you get baby punks, baby punks.

JAZZER: Sigmund Sigmund …I think you maybe got the wrong idea about dreams. I'm at the salad bar and nothing is cold. Should I hold? Should I fold? Should I go for the gold? All aboard the tweeked out whore. All aboard the pirate’s sword. All aboard the b-hills tour. All aboard the trap door. House pet omelets - that’s as bad as it can get baby. (repeat 1st verse and chorus). I'm in a manger with a savior. In a school room with a failure. At the circus with a hotdog. In a nuthouse with a hard on. Beauty and the bill board. Nuke the oaks it’s colder than it was last night. What’d you say? I was vacuuming my glass eye. Foget it, I’ll eat almonds. Every time you poop you pee, but every time you pee you don’t poop. My papa’s a jazzer.

CHICKEN CHOKE 10,000: this is a song for my tax accountant who got hold of a bad burrito,i love it when carpet gets cold and the winter wind blows through the screen like it's sold,gingerbread dames put a peg leg in deweys for laughs that keep gettin off track,astronaut fellows tucked away in space workin on chicken choke 10,000 then shaving the stubble they photo the rubble they're blowing a bubble of gum that is subtle,they sing in their shuttle they say on the double they ask what's the trouble to hobos that mumble and ask for a buck cause they're down on their luck and they shucks and they geez and they whiz,the help line in heaven is 24-7 for parents with drunk college kids,they rape and they tape and they stink like an ape and they poisen the grapes to have flys in a cape and they guess if it's place or a person or thing or a big lion ring where they yang eats the ying,i gotta get funky tonight or die (repeat top).......this generation really digs masturbation just like space stations,chicken choke 10,000 earth again,chicken chokin' how have you been? astronauts get off in space by their own hand everyday....parentheses rap bums pop ass pimples,bougwa brauds powder dugan dimples,television is the poor man's temple,nature had it nice and simple but we had to get our ass in gear on the uninsured banks of the gutter river i take a horse piss i blow cool eden's apple struddle while jesus tattoos get removed elevator music makes the boss horny i know it sounds corny but my peter looks like macoroni cause i'm rehab the arab a jacuzzi hubby,turn on the bubbles so you don't see my love handles beer belly dancers boo the mom on stage strippin' weekends to support her flying carpet puppy,funky digestive track the next laxatives on me dj wants to know if there's humpin' up in heaven eat rat bait and find out i'll spin the sellouts thank satan it's saturday,i'm gonna get my blond joke on nobody laughed bad mood constipated in a crap shoot i gotta return the pornos groovy,please sir spare me the expression i'm uninterested in sex without marriage that's why i wear a female condom only in my mind my husband swings both ways you don't say not that it's any of my business oh no that's okay! don't come crying to me when your coffee habit lets you down you should have stuck to water and tea (come on girl it's just ten cups of coffee) bawk!!!! chicken choke 10,000!!!!!

TIDE POOL: with a loud bee above me,it is kind of hard to hear the message text,but i'm
patient & vacant,i can't wait to see what idea checks in next...and i don't mind,if it's darker than a dungeon i'm just glad it chose to give me it's time,we'll hit the tide pool where the picture is bright...we can dream in the ocean,i'm a shell that shreds a riff when ears drop in,i once lived in an A-frame tiny fold-up tent made of aluminum,by those rocks,i will tell you all about it someday on one of our evening hill walks,we'll hit the tide pool if we walk far enough...(solo-then repeat first chorus)

SQUID COCKTAIL: Cubicle diamonds in the Himalayas, monkey picks fleas off the bumble bees. Magazine rack of lamb in a jam. Little inventions with their crazy intentions. Corn cob hair beware, you could lose your toes on these moving stairs. Pimples in a truss on a tour bus. Would ya mind, put your pork in a rind, and give me that duck. It never quacks when it f**ks. Can you spare a buck? I need an oyster to shuck. Live on French t.v. like a frog turd. Think it’s absurd, but you’re feedin birds squid cocktail. Echo in a creature’s body. Gonna find the mouth tomorrow, man I’m gonna find the mouth tomorrow. Yeah, I’m gonna find the mouth tomorrow. Putting a rock in goliath’s sock. Fall you f**k, fall down here. Let us get one thing clear. There’s cubicle diamonds in the Himalayas…pimples in a truss on a tour bus, would ya mind? Put your pen in a glass of squid cocktail.

DUCKS: the boys down south be shootin' them ducks,the ducks down south be shit out of
luck,you'll scratch your head and say that's f***ed up,what they doin' shootin' ducks?
(repeat) quack quack! take that! (repeat top)

SECRETS: sally's secret ain't safe with me i'm gonna tell everybody that i see are you wondering what sally's secret could be? well....now this might come as a shock but HERPES! she's got HERPES! now that you know please tell her so......sammy's secret ain't safe with me i'm gonna tell everybody that i see are you wondering what sammy's secret could be well....brace yourself HORSES! HE HUMPS HORSES!!! now that you know please tell him so!!!

CLUNKER: I knew another yard named lawn. I had a chess board but I lost a pawn. Now we can’t play anymore. I wrote a recipe for muffins. I used to fax it to my best friend. Now we don’t talk anymore. It’s a shame. Cause we shot turkey on his balcony and I got hitched to his sister who was really his mom. Everybody in their clunker knows some parents have fights over stupid things and divorce. If they have a kid it’s much worse. Now we can’t make anymore. It’s a shame. Cause I got spermatozoa storage sacks that I’ve been given to shoot into vaginal eggs. everybody in their clunker knows that spiders have 9 legs.

G.E.D. (instrumental)

NACHOS: That’s right. I used to be a pretty damn good mime, but these points aren’t of interest to this rainy night and windy chimes, cause I prayed that I could be a bird when I die. But that’s no life. Nachos at Taqueria Vallarta on main. A morning conversation about changing our names to window and pane. Cause I prayed that I could tour the world with my songs, but that takes too long. And all my time goes to managing the park. All my time goes to netting off the sharks so it is safe to swim. I got an email from Stephen Allen Davis. Soft eyes, the reason my heart is still here alive. The mini series moved me, it seemed to fly, but It was seven nights. Then I had to re watch one of them by myself cause I was somewhere else.

RIPOFF YAM: She asked why I did that I said because I’m mad. Princess and the rip off yam did you feel it with your back? In your bed of water dreams, do you see what this all means? With all my jokes aside, we will all play in tides. I bought a yam from a garden of pigs, I peeled it twice and then washed it with soap. I put it under your new waterbed. You couldn’t move in the crazy morning. You had to go to a chiropractor, I would not put it on my credit card. You took my ass to a court of small claims. The judge said there is nobody to blame. No one to blame for this potato game, no one to blame ‘cause you both are insane!

LARGO MASSINA: Largo Massina, I’m waiting for your call. I could be there. At the marina, the water’s clear and warm. Boca chica. There’s just one movie seen, it’s Bogart in The African Queen. The Caribbean club is drunk. The scene is so surreal. Largo Massina, your silver shores are shining on our survey. Different arena, you’re tour is quite forgotten by the fishes. There’s just one mood down there. You get a lot of sand in your hair. You don’t know when the bars are closed. You know you must stop drinking. Largo Marcina, you laughed, I cried. It was all about the money. Once you go back it seems so small. Largo Massina. What did I tell ya. The boxer was a fake, he’s not Machismo. Soft sweet papayas are falling from the tree next to Juanita’s. here comes the hurricane. It’s right behind the mosquito plane. You better go, I think I’ll stay. There’s so much more to live for. (Repeat first chorus). Largo Marcina, you lived, we died. But I left with more than money. Pages get turned and songs get played. Largo Marcina.

SNAKE EGGS: Snake eggs sittin on a paper plate, ready to break, ready to break. Snake eggs said they’re runnin just a little late. Ready to break, ready to break. I know you want em over easy. I know you want em fried. I know you want em scrambled baby, but shit goes wrong when a snake egg’s laid on a lawn…snake eggs, snake eggs.

MARY: kissed me on my heart, on my heart. She kissed me on my heart, on my heart. Held me in her arms, in her arms. She held me in her arms, in her arms. Mary shines her eyes. Mary shines her eyes at me. Mary in my mind, Mary in my mind dancing. Healed me in my heart, in my heart. She healed me in my heart, in my heart. Held me in the dark, in the dark, she held me in the dark, in the dark. Mary I would like, Mary I would like to fly, up to bliss with you, up to bliss with you someday – leave this place behind. Earth is not our home. Earth is not our home. Let our faces die, eyes will leave the mind, eyes will leave the mind.

SPAGHETTI WESTERN AND MEATBALLS (instrumental)

BALLOONS: Caught in the middle of it I start to scream.  Locked in the prison of pain, I try to dream. Stuck in the gargling mud, I bust my seams. Rocked by the earth and it’s voice I’d rather not say what is down on the crumpled page. Play with the words in a wild way. Take them on out into outer space, float away like balloons. Dropped at the circus of freaks, I start to laugh. Trapped in a poisonous womb, my lungs collapse. Slapped in the face by the world, I take the wrap. Down on a mattress of nails, I try to nap….pop that little bitty dog balloon.

I THOUGHT IT WAS THE END OF THE WORLD
Picture this, a Christmas list, and a zombie on fire. You took a burn but it isn’t that bad. I have to ask. It’s just vanilla with strawberry swirl. Silly me, I thought it was the end of the world. Picture this, our time exists, with or without a clock. Why am I still waiting for a cheap model train? I’ve gone insane. My feet aren’t broken, my toes are just curled. Silly me, I thought it was the end of the world. Making an animal shadow. Framing the puzzle again and again. Loading the pistol with POW! Flags. I’ll do anything for a laugh. Picture this, a hair ball hiss. Can you take out the trash? It’s hard to stump you, but I’ll buy if you fly. It’s all in the eyes. The pain, the joy ride, the plastic ono pearl. Silly me, I thought it was the end of the world. Picture this, an Eskimo kiss and a dream where you jump. My guess is bull runs never go as they’re planned. It’s out of our hands. The doctor says that it’s a boy and a girl. Silly me, I thought It was the end of the world.